Corrupt a wish game!

Granted, but they lower his speed massively and change his ability to white smoke.

I wish I could have more time to myself.

(True while you would have access to magic, you would be unable to kill dragons to grow stronger. Meaning to learn more words of power you would have to meditate on the words for long amounts of time. Also Having no one to teach you more about magic in this world your magic would be limited. Being different you would likely be hunted and killed to see if you power could be unlocked by other humans.... isn't our world just the greatest)

Granted, have fun living in isolation for all eternity.

I wish I would stop humming the Twilight Zone theme as I read through these posts.

Granted, now your humming Friday 

I wish I knew what to wish for

Granted, but you already wasted your wish on wishing that you knew what to wish for, so now you can't wish for that wish. What a mouthful.

I wish for a black box with an orange button on it.

Granted, but when you push the button your blown up.

I with I had more jammy Dodgers

Granted but they're invisible

I wish I knew what those were

Granted, but shortly after you learn what they are, you are involved in an accident that gives you serious head trauma, and you forget.

I wish I had a spork. But not just any spork. The best spork money can buy.

Granted, its made out of poop

I wish my head trauma to be healed completely

Granted... they so by chopping of your head from your neck.

I wish For Log Horizon to get started on season 2.

Granted, but it's got no relation to the original because it's set in an alternate universe, where Elder Tale is actually a… a uh… ooh, a pong remake! Yea! I can see it now… Watch 25 entire episodes about Shiroe hitting a ball away! It's action pact, I swear! Watch it! Pleeeease!

I wish everyone actually put effort into their granted sentence(s), instead of just something stupid that has no relevance and makes you slap your own face, or hit it against the nearest wall.

Granted, there are now no walls to hit your head with nor hands to slap with.

I wish for the USA to lose its debt, its embarrassing.

Granted, but due to a series of unfortunate events the economy has crumbled leaving the world in a crippling economic depression with the US to blame

I wish for a 4.0 this semester

granted but you get a 3.0 next semester

i wish i could go to sleep right now lol

Granted but you never wake up, a la sleeping beauty

I wish my phone was fully charged right now

awww dang now i need a prince charming and my husband aint home XD lol

granted but your charger breaks after it charged so now you can't charge it anymore

i wish my husband was home and brought me home fajitas yummy fajitas XD

granted but they explode

i wish i was a half-Human half-Zoroark Hybrid

Man we need some better twists that "it exploads"
Granted, now you are a black woman with weird hair

I wish for an endless bag of unexploading, completely safe, delicious reeses peanut butter cups that will never go bad, nor get me fat.

Granted, but the reason they dont get you fat  because you can't eat them you can only share them

I wish i could turn invisible whenever i needed with complete control over the ability

Nice...didnt think of that

granted, you not actually invisible, eveyone just forget you exist

I wish I had the same bag of reeses but I could also eat them

granted but they're the only thing you can ever eat, eventually you're teeth fall out in rot and still you must use your gums to eat them.

I wish to be the very best like no one ever was

Okay, because no one ever was your arent actually any better but you dont know that

I wish for a pony

granted but it explodes XD lol jk granted but it kicks you in the face knocking you out cold

i wish i lived in japan

Maybe this is in poor taste, but granted. You live in Nagasaki, August 9, 1945. Enjoy!

I wish that shows like Honey Boo Boo didn't exist, and that in their place Stephen Hawking and Carl Sagan documentaries reigned supreme. Oh, and make the history channel actually about history, while you're at it.

When do you ever show proper humor?

Grabted, but they're not available on Netflix... Do you have cable? You know what, they are not available on cable either. The only way to watch them is at Snookie's house.

I wish, I wish, upon a ... Dragon scale thing, that Disney made a sequel to the Incredibles and a TV series for Mulan.

Granted, but the sequel… wait for it… it explodes! Mwahahaha! Wait… that doesn't make any sense. Okay, the second Incredibles is given a low budget, so the story is so bad that you cry and the voice acting is so horribly done that you keep crying. As for the Mulan TV series… well, it was only released in German. (Unless of course you actually speak German, in that case it's Korean) Sorry, but that's the rule of the game. That, and I didn't like Mulan.

I wish that… wait, hold on a second… I wish that I won't know how to speak French. If I say that, you can't grant that, right?