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PostSubject: Newsletter Archieves   Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:06 pm

Here Dem will post all of the newletters for now on for thoses of you who aren't getting them in your emails or just want to read a little bit about the past Razz.


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PostSubject: Re: Newsletter Archieves   Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:07 pm

Pokemon Wars Monthly Newsletter
July 2014


Return of the Newsletter


Hey guys it's been a while but I've finally got the newsletter up and running again. If you have anything you would like to see added please post in the newsletter section of the forum!



The Great Badge Creating Contest


Soon Pokemon Wars will be moving onto a new badge system for the league. In order to make this new system work we need badges. Think you have what it takes to create new the badges of Pokemon Wars? Then enter the Great Badge Creating Contest here.


Tournaments


Currently we have the new Pokemon War Tournament. Pick a country and take over the world!


Pokemon Wars Battle Association


The PWBA is currently looking for one more person in order to start a second league. Think you have what it takes? Then sign up here!


Pokemon of the Month


The pokemon of the month is Pangoro! Read all about it here!


Dark Feraligatr's Totally Awesome and Super Cool Cooking Show!


So we've got something weird this week. It's quite an odd recipe, so let's get on with it! This week, we're cooking BANETTE!





Ghosts are a weird subject. Certain chefs say that there is indeed something to eat on them, while others disagree. I for one, after dissecting a *cough* willing subject, discovered that yes, Banettes do indeed have something to eat on them. And if you've got the guts and determination to find one, then it'll probably pay off.





Equipment: A vacuum cleaner (optional), A Holy Bible (Koran and Hebrew Scriptures are also viable), A bag of black candles, A stuffed toy, A box of matches, Black chalk, A child who can scream at 80 decibels or higher, A cage or crate, A knife





Ingredients: Various condiments, Mango chutney, Oregano, Barbecue sauce, Holy water





Preparation: Okay, so as you can see, this is going to be a very complicated recipe. First of all, you'll need a Banette. I'm certain you don't want to wait for like five years while a child throws out a stuffed toy and blah blah blah blah blah. No, it's much easier to just summon up a spirit of the dead to inhabit the body of a doll. Take your stuffed doll, and bring it to a dark, windowless room. Basements work best. Draw a circle with an "x" on the inside of it with the chalk, and organise the candles so they form a larger circle around the "x". Light each candle, and then position yourself about six inches from the doll. Place your doll in the middle of the circle, and sit cross legged across of it. Hold your holy scripture in your right hand just to be safe, and chant, "Gas mal vash, adze haakai, skarragath, ahkronath." Please note, summoning otherworldly creatures is rarely safe. I highly suggest you do your research first. Should the holy object not truly work, it makes for a good, heavy object to throw at whatever you summon. Once the creature has possessed the doll, it shall become a Banette. Instantly, the Banette will run. Should it do this, I highly suggest taking the child and making them scream. This will draw the Banette back to you, and you can trap it. Either put it into the cage or the crate, or suck it up with the vacuum cleaner.





Alright, Banette are feisty creatures. You have to very carefully let it out of the crate, and then instantly kill it. Do this quickly, or it may try to turn on you. Arceus have mercy on your soul should it Mega Evolve. Once your Banette has been ironically slain, you may begin to cut it open. You should find that the whole of the Banette has been turned into meat. No intestines or anything. At this point, place the meat you chose to cook in a frying pan and cook it over a low flame for an easy ten minutes, flipping it every now and then. To be certain that you yourself aren't possessed, toss a cup of holy water in while the meat is still cooking. Occasionally add a dash of mango chutney and oregano, and then remove the meat. Add the barbecue sauce or any various condiments you like, and then serve. It feeds four people.





Well, that took a while. So, now you know how to get your Banette, and cook and eat something that is already dead! Happy ghostbusting kids!





DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE IF YOU ARE MAULED, EATEN, POSSESED, TRAPPED IN LIMBO, SHREDDED, STABBED, OR SENT AN UNHOLY NETHERWORLD WHILE YOU COOK YOUR BANETTE. PLEASE EXERCISE CAUTION AS PERFORMING NECROMANCY TO COOK FOOD IS OFTEN DANGEROUS.


Pokemon Trainer of the Month


The Pokemon Trainer of the Month for July is !$TAKA$! Taka has been a long time member of the forum and used to be the champion of Pokemon Wars but stepped down to encourage others to take the challenge. He is always helping out other and for those reasons and more he is July's Pokemon Trainer of the Month.


Pokemon Fact of the Month


When Paras evolves into Parasect, the parasitic mushroom on its back actually takes over the host, which explains the Pokémon’s blank, white eyes. Parasect is actually a zombie!

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PostSubject: Re: Newsletter Archieves   Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:06 pm

Pokemon Wars Monthly Newsletter
August 2014


Changes to the site!


Hey guys sorry for the late newsletter but I wanted to confirm all the new changes we're making to the site before I send it out. First off we are compeletly changing how our gym system works. Read all about the changes here.




Also we have restructured how court cases work in an attempt to actually get them solved. This new structure can be read about here. Be sure to vote on new court cases as they come along.





Tournaments


Currently we have the Pokemon War Tournament hosted by Green Charizard and the Pokemon Wars Knock Out Tournament hosted by Aurath.




Pokemon Wars Battle Association



The PWBA is currently looking for one more person in order to start a second league. Think you have what it takes? Then sign up here!


Pokemon of the Month


The pokemon of the month is Tyranitar! Read all about it here!


Pokemon Trainer of the Month


The Pokemon Trainer of the Month for August is Far257. Far has been a long time member of the forum and is currently one of the moderators of Pokemon Wars. He is always helping out others when they need it. Recently he completely reformed the gym system. For those reasons and more he is Pokemon Wars Pokemon Trainer of the Month.




Also I would like to do more for Pokemon Trainer of the Month than just mention them in the newsletter. If you have any suggestions on what we could do please PM Green Charizard or make a post on the Pokemon Trainer of the Month thread located in the newsletter section of the forum.


Pokemon Fact of the Month


Ferrothron, Ferroseed, Volcarona, Larvesta, and Nincada all have one strange thing in common. They can not learn attract despite having genders and being compatible with other TMs.

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PostSubject: Re: Newsletter Archieves   Fri Mar 06, 2015 5:37 am

Dem's edit: I may have forgotten that I have to do this afterwards… it's outdated in some areas now, but oh well.

Pokemon Wars Monthly Newsletter
March 2015


Another Newsletter Revived, but for Real!


Heya all, Dem here! The administrators and moderators are starting to work on bringing the site back to glory, but that means more time needed for the admins. So, I've taken the job of monthly newsletter writer! This is my first one, so if there's anything I missed or you want added/changed, be sure to let me know!



Site Changes


Pokemon Wars is going blue! The new site design isn't like anything we've had before, so what do you think? Looks fresh? Also, we now have a Pokemon Showdown area for the challenges, tournaments and gym sections. This means that you can have quick battles with members without having to train a team, or that you can still battle even without a 3DS.



Pokemon Wars Battle Association


The PWBA is starting up again for the new year, but not without members! There are still many positions to be taken, so go and sign up here!



Eon Ticket Code


Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire are currently holding an event to obtain an Eon Ticket via streetpass. The Eon Ticket will allow you to travel to Southern Island, where you can catch Latias in OR or Latios in AS. If you can't get your hands on one, don't worry! You can enter these codes into your 3DS on the MYSTERY GIFT option and receive one from the comfort of your own home!





In North America, enter the code: 2015LATIOSLATIAS





In Europe, enter the code: POKEMON380381





If you don't live in either of those places, try entering the European code or the North American if it doesn't work. This event only lasts until the 2nd of March, so punch them in quick!



Tournaments


There are no active tournaments right now. Get over to the tournaments section and make your own!



Pokemon of the Month


The poll for Pokemon of the Month started a bit late, so there's still time to vote on who you want to win! Currently Latios and Omastar are tied for the lead, with Heracross not far behind! If you haven't voted yet, go and shift the lead position here!



Dark Feraligatr's Totally Awesome and Super Cool Cooking Show!


Mmmkay, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Slurpuff is cotton candy. If you need more information, then this is a handy tutorial on how to munch down on a tasty Slurpuff without ending up having your blood splattered all over the floor and your intestine (and you) hanging from the ceiling fan like some demented marionette.






Just look at that Slurpuff. Stare deep into its eyes. If you see anything other than a cold hearted, sociopathic murderer, then get glasses. All exaggerations aside, Slurpuff is downright evil. Its Play Rough attack has been shown to be the cause of at least 300 Kalos trainer deaths a year. And when Slurpuff plays rough, there are no survivors. Pay close attention if you're courageous or stupid enough to get some of its tasty cotton candy.





You will need:


-A pair of foot long metal rods.


-A neck brace.


-The ability to tell when someone is lying.


-A sharp object.


-A heavy object.


-An object capable of launching projectiles at at least 30 kilometers an hour.


-A fully written will.


-Grief counseling.


-Backup.


-A very fast vehicle with which to escape.


-(Optional) A Molotov cocktail.


-A plastic bag.


-A phone to call for help or at least to tell your friends and families that you love them quickly.


-One cup granulated sugar.





Slurpuff is already delicious, so no cooking is necessary. However, there is one slight problem. It is capable of killing a human with ease, and it does such a good job at it that it puts Mewtwo and Chandelure to shame. In fact, Mewtwo and Chandelure are terrified of Slurpuff, so don't bring it up to them. Slurpuff uses deceptive tactics to not only lure in those it wants to eliminate, but to make them completely unaware of its malicious intent. Before going over how to get some of Slurpuff's cotton candy, it is first necessary to show what it can do. Sweet Scent can lower your desire to resist the Slurpuff's will, so always be sure to hold your breath if you see a pink gas float off of Slurpuff. Using Fake Tears buys it more time so that it can get you by surprise with Draining Kiss, which is more like a snap around your neck with razor sharp fangs while it drinks your precious life blood for sustenance. Slurpuff knows what it's doing, too, since it always aims for the jugular vein when it bites at you. Finally, its most terrifying attack is Play Rough. Play Rough, when used on Pokemon, can grievously wound them, but when Slurpuff is attacking to defend itself, Play Rough is better named Neck Snap. Don't be fooled by its small, stubby arms and lack of fingers, as they can easily break your neck like a toothpick. But Slurpuff has many other tactics to defeat you with. Toxic allows for a swift death, it can incinerate you with Thunderbolt, Flamethrower, or even the ungodly powerful Hyper Beam. Giga Impact WILL break every bone in your body, despite Slurpuff being like two feet tall, and Dazzling Gleam can blind you so that Slurpuff can get in a Play Rough... or worse. Now that you know what you're up against, let's get started on the whole "obtaining Slurpuff's cotton candy" thing.





Okay, step one is to find a Slurpuff. Slurpuff loves Citrus Poke Puffs, so be sure to leave at least fifteen in a place with several escape routes, with other people nearby. Keep the rods nearby so you can harvest the cotton candy at a moment's notice and get away fast. Once the Slurpuff arrives, approach it very closely. Make sure the neck brace is sturdy so that Slurpuff's Play Rough attack won't kill you, right away, at least. If Slurpuff tries to charm you with its cuteness, do not be fooled. It merely wants you to let your guard down so that it can run away or use a move on you. Once it realizes that you aren't leaving, it may try to use Fake Tears to make you feel guilty enough to leave it alone. Be warned though, as Fake Tears may attract other Slurpuff to you so they can help their brother. If it does... god help you. The sharp object is just to make Slurpuff be wary of you, so it won't attack immediately, and the heavy object is to stun Slurpuff so you can take the candy. At this point, Slurpuff is most likely going to attack you. If it tries a Draining Kiss, duck and roll to the side. If it tries to use Play Rough on you, it has to jump to do it, so shove it away as hard as you can. Hit the Slurpuff with the heavy object and grab the metal rods. Stab them into the Slurpuff, and rip them out horizontally. Don't worry about hurting the little savage, Slurpuff can regenerate body parts with ease, even when on fire, which is where the Molotov cocktail comes in. It MIGHT slow the Slurpuff down, or it will simply enrage it and the Slurpuff will brutally mutilate you. That's where the phone comes in to call for help. Anyway, grab the globs of cotton candy and put them in the bag while the Slurpuff is momentarily incapacitated, as it will regenerate in 20 seconds, minimum. Throw the sugar at it if it comes at you again. Slurpuff can't resist sugar, so it will certainly stop to eat some. If it STILL comes at you, try to slow it down with the projectiles, get on the escape vehicle, AND GET AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN. The Slurpuff will call for help if you linger, so get to other people as fast as possible.





So, there you go! You've now risked your life for several pounds of some of the tastiest cotton candy you'll ever eat, and all it took was several days of preparation and a serious risks of injury and dismemberment. Enjoy your grief counseling and cotton candy while I show you what you pictures of what you almost became!






POST-SLURPUFF ATTACK ON COUMARINE CITY, 1996






SLURPUFF ATTACK ON THE UNOVA NUCLEAR POWER PLANT: OFFICIAL CASUALTY COUNT AROUND 18,000






SLURPUFFS DESTROY THE MOON, LAST WORDS OF ASTRONAUT BEFORE IMMEDIATE VAPORIZATION RECORDED



Nova's CrissCross


We now have a section in the newsletter for Nova's Pokemon crisscross! This has been floating around the forum for a bit, so some members may already have solved this. However, you can expect a brand new one in April next month!








March Birthdays


Active members with a birthday in March include Envidira, DF, Espiria, and GiantWhirlpool! Pokemon Wars wishes you all a happy birthday this month! (Active being online in the last month with at least 1 post, subject to change)



Pokemon Trainer of the Month


The Pokemon Trainer of the Month award for March 2015 goes to EclipseDarkz! Darkz has been helping out by giving away free Pokemon to pretty much anyone who has asked, and has remained a very active member despite being a part of another forum. Congratulations EclipseDarkz!



Pokemon Fact of the Month


The Japanese name for the move splash is actually hop, which explains why Pokemon such as Spoink and Hoppip can learn it. This is also why splash is a normal type move, and not a water type. The reason it was named splash in the English version is likely because it was exclusive to Magikarp in generation one.



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PostSubject: Re: Newsletter Archieves   Wed Jul 15, 2015 2:58 am

Dem's edit: Oh man, did I forget to put in a Pokemon fact? I did. Dammit. This newsletter was already short as it was without me forgetting sections.

Pokemon Wars Monthly Newsletter
Mid-July 2015


A Quiet Forum is a Forum Nonetheless


Heya all! The site has been pretty inactive when it comes to posts, and some of the active members have disappeared. Because of that, this will be a shorter newsletter due to not having much to write about. I hope that everyone can help the forum to become a more active place eventually, because it's pretty bland in stages like this. (An active administrator would be great, Aurath's pretty busy)



Voice Chat + Gaming Weekends


Because of the lack of actual Pokemon gameplay going on, we at Pokemon Wars decided to all get together and play a Pokemon MMO every few weekends. It hasn't been going on for a while now, but I'd like to see it start back up again. If you're interested, meet up at the chatbox this weekend Saturday 18th, 10:00 pm GMT. Just a heads up, the game requires a computer and preferably a Skype account if you want to chat. It's only voice chat, so don't worry about having to show people your silk and skin. If you can't play the game, you're still more than welcome to chat with us. For more info, check out the thread in the general section.



Tournaments


Currently we have the PWBA Little-me tournament hosted by SickSouls, which plays similar to Aurath's Pokemon Wars Battle Association. If you can't battle normally on a 3DS, there's the option of using the Pokemon Showdown simulator. You can check it out and sign up here!



Pokemon of the Month


Right now there's nobody doing the Pokemon of the Month. If you would like to be the one to write it then send a message to one of the active staff members and explain how you're the one fit for the job. I'll be honest with you, none of us are probably feeling very picky at this stage.



Birthdays


There are no active members with birthdays this month. How about that.



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PostSubject: Re: Newsletter Archieves   Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:08 am

Pokemon Wars Monthly Newsletter
August 2015


Another Newsletter Already?


Heya all! July's newsletter came really late, so now we've got another newsletter out only half a month later. Even so, plenty happened during that short time compared to what was going on a month or two ago, so I guess I'll get up and write this anyway… Here you go, community. Speaking of, this one was released a few days late because I couldn't format it in time and had to go back to the old look. Old being half a month ago.



Tournaments


Right now the PWBA Little-me hosted by SickSouls is currently underway and has started the drafting phase. Is it too late to join? Uh… maybe, maybe not? I guess you can ask SickSouls about joining or just check it out here.



Pokemon of the Month





Pokemon of the Month for August is Seadra! Check out it's stats, info and a competitive battling guide here.



August Birthdays


There are no active members with birthdays this month. How about that.



Pokemon Trainer of the Month


The Pokemon Trainer of the Month award for August 2015 goes to SickSouls! SickSouls has been busy keeping everyone active and chatting with each other thanks to tournaments and such. Yes, I was going to choose him before Aurath forced it upon me anyway. Congrats SickSouls!



Pokemon Fact of the Month


In the first two generations, besides rivals, Gym Leaders, and the E4, the only trainer with 6 Pokemon is a fisherman with only Magikarps.

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PostSubject: Re: Newsletter Archieves   Fri Mar 11, 2016 5:54 pm

Pokemon War's Newletter
March 2016

Hello Everybody!

Hey everyone I just wanted to say hello. I have just returned to the forum recently and I wanted to help get things back on track so that we can all enjoy gen 7 together! So without further adieu here is your newsletter for March 2016!

Opening and Closing
 
Since we don't have many active members at the moment we have closed down the PWBA and Type Trials for now. These sections aren't gone but won't be visible until we decide to reopen them when we have more active membership.

I've also decided to open up an off topic section of the forum in order to keep talk going when Pokemon news slows down. If you have any ideas for topics to add to this section please let me know.

 Gym/E4 Reset

I'll be resetting the gym sections completely starting on March 19th. Current Gym leaders and E4 will be able to keep their jobs but they must PM me telling me that they want to continue their duties other wise their gym/e4 thread will be closed. I'll also be assigning new badges.

Account deleting

The forum has a lot of accounts with zero posts that have never logged onto the forum with some pretty cool names. I'll be doing a little household cleaning and deleting any account with zero posts and that hasn't logged in within the last three months. If for some reason you wish to keep your account please log in by March 19th to ensure it doesn't get deleted.

Pokemon of the Month


The Pokemon of the Month for March is Latios. Please read all about it here!

Pokemon Fact of the Month

 If a single Pokemon were to have all 18 types combined into one type that Pokemon would still be weak to rock.
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